I’m disgusted by the overwhelming amount of “self-help” and other nonsense circulating in our lives. Everyone seems to be offering classes on “how to get mentally tough,” but you can’t truly teach those things. You have to live life. Put yourself out there. It’s a lifestyle. How are you going to react when it’s the second hour of that 24-hour race? It’s raining, you’re the coldest you’ve ever been, and your legs are already getting sore. That self-talk isn’t going to get you anywhere.

What gets you from point A to point B? It’s not just self-talk; it’s self-talk backed with real-life evidence from your own experiences. As human beings, we tend to react and take action. Your mind wants to quit. It wants to escape the discomfort. So, you must be able to fight your mind and say, “There’s a way out from here.” That’s the real self-talk. Knowing that the pain will end, that you will get through it, is what pushes you forward. Because at the end of the day, when you’ve quit and have that first calming moment in the hot shower, you’re going to think, why on earth did you quit?

I understand that there are people who look up to these gurus, waiting for that one thing they say that just clicks with them and changes the way they think and do things. But that’s not going to happen. The change starts within yourself. No one can change the way your mind works. And that doesn’t mean that anything they say couldn’t help you, but it’s just not the only thing you’ll need to grow.

To truly understand what it means to be mentally tough, you have to put yourself in challenging situations. It’s about waking up at the crack of dawn, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about pushing through that last mile when every part of your body screams at you to stop. It’s about facing rejection, failure, and disappointment head-on and not letting it break you. Mental toughness isn’t a class you take; it’s a muscle you build through relentless practice and perseverance.

Consider the moments in your life when you were truly tested. Think about the times when you were at your lowest, and remember how you clawed your way back up. That’s where real mental toughness comes from. It’s forged in the fires of adversity. It’s not something you can read about in a book or learn in a seminar. It’s something you earn through blood, sweat, and tears.

There’s a prevalent misconception that there’s a magic formula or a secret mantra that will instantly make you resilient. But resilience is a process, not a quick fix. It involves setting small, achievable goals and consistently meeting them, even when it’s hard. It involves reflecting on your past struggles and recognising your growth. It’s about building a foundation of small wins that collectively make you stronger.

In the end, mental toughness is deeply personal. It’s about knowing yourself, your limits, and your potential. It’s about trusting that you have what it takes to overcome any obstacle. It’s about silencing the doubts and fears that hold you back and embracing the discomfort that leads to growth.

So, the next time you find yourself in a tough spot, remember that true mental toughness isn’t about a pep talk or a motivational speech. It’s about the grit and determination that comes from within. It’s about the lessons learned through lived experiences. It’s about facing the storm and coming out the other side, knowing you’ve become stronger for it.

Don’t fall for the illusion that mental toughness can be taught in a classroom or through a set of steps. Embrace the challenges life throws at you. Step out of your comfort zone. Push yourself harder than you ever thought possible. That’s where real growth happens. And that’s where you’ll find the strength to keep moving forward, no matter what.